Lost

Friends & Family say I lost it
'cause of Who my path has crossed with
everytime that they see me they say I'm looking so exhausted
got distracted, got derailed, then it seems I got destructive
now I lash out, 'cause their criticism doesn't seem constructive
see time and time and time again I feel just like the victim
feel like a one man army it's just me against the system
everyone is against me, they take my words and then they twist them
but they never take a moment or even take the time to listen
see I'm crying out for help 'cause I'm drowning in my struggles
but closed doors is all I get from them & "We don't want no trouble"
were with me when my life was good, but turned their backs once I stumbled
sat back and watched, did nothing as my World began to crumble
no words of encouragement not even a helping hand
My life is in shambles and I don't seem to understand
blamed God for all my problems, asked "why is it that I've been damned?"
surprisingly he responded and said "this isn't what I planned"
"I gave you a free will so you could do what you wanted to"
"your life's a result of poor choices, so these storms you must go through"
"in order to enter my Kingdom your mind must be renewed"
then the enemy crept in my mind and said "but wait what if you refused?"
"if you choose to worship me you will never ever feel abused"
& there I stood perplexed and feeling completely confused
say what you want about it, I know you have your opinions and your views
it's easy to say what you'd do while sitting in the pews